5

"Oh my gosh, oh baby...."  These were the 1st words uttered by my husband Jerry upon seeing Addison for the 1st time as she was being delivered and within a minute later we welcome Kaylee and then Jadon.

Kaylee was suppose to come last, but when the second baby was delivered our doctor said, "oh, I think I got the little one" and I joked that the last baby better be a boy.  When Jadon was delivered I heard Dr. Kirshon say, "this one is going to need oxygen."

The delivery was a blur... but this is some of what I remember..

And I remember holding one of my babies for the 1st time.  They brought me Kaylee, our smallest at 3 lbs, before taking them all to the NICU and laid her across my chest.  She was nothing like I had imagined...  Her eyes were wide open and so big on that little bitty head that she almost looked like a little baby monkey (in a good way)... adorable... but she was so small and hadn't grown into her features that I just remember those big eyes looking at me.  Then, I started to feel ill from the epidural so they rushed all the babies away to the NICU.

Addison came 1st and weighed in at 3lb 13oz and required the most oxygen and she just kinda moaned repeatedly for a while.  We were not able to hold her for several days which broke my heart, but we changed her diaper, stroked her, and let her know we were there.  Once we could hold her, she would study us with a frown on her face and very untrusting look.  I'd talk to her... "What are looking at silly girl... I'm your Mommy... you better get used to this face"  and I'd sing....

Kaylee never required oxygen and came out of the womb funny and smiling...  they say it's just gas, but I'm seriously not sure...  she smiled upon entry to the world and she continues to be the happiest of the kids.  She got the most hold time in the NICU being the healthiest and her feed time was during visiting hours.  I think she got the most "home video" time as well when I watch them back.

Jadon was last at 4lbs and needed a little oxygen early on, but came off it quicker than Addison.  He was mister laid back.   He slept on his back with his arms behind his head and seemed just as relaxed as could be.  I thought we'd never get to know each other because he was always asleep.  I also thought he looked just like his Daddy at birth and now I don't see that all, not that he looks like me either.  He has always been the snuggler of the bunch.

and now.... those tiny babies are 5 years old...  oh, how my world has changed and how my heart has changed.

I recently watched Private Practice (comes on after Greys Anatomy) and Addison Shepherd is talking to someone at the end of the show.  The conversation went something like this....

"When a woman has a baby whether it's a girl or a boy, healthy or sick, lives moments or years that women is forever changed.  Every cell of her being is forever changed... she is forever a Mom."

I am forever changed...  I will always love so much it hurts, I will forever worry about everything from coughs to cars, I will forever want more for someone else than for myself....  I am a Mom.

Happy Birthday Addison, Kaylee, Jadon and a because we let him pretend it's was his birthday too... Cody.  You have forever changed my life for the better.  I love you!!

This year I made the kids their own individual cake and let them pick the theme: