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Friday, January 2, 2009

The hardest job I ever loved

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. -- Matthew 11:28"

It's funny... I spent most of my adult life working as a "career woman." I had many employees under me and nice office when I left the daily grind of the energy industry. I worked long hours but I was enjoying the fruits of my labor as a single girl without any commitments or debt. I thought I worked very hard and granted my hours were extremely long on a regular basis, but I usually had the weekends off and most of my evenings. I always wanted to stay home with a family though. My work was a job, but a family was a purpose. Somehow, I knew it would be more fulfilling and thought it would be dare I say easier. I figured I'd take care of the house, shop, run errands, cook, do laundry and lay down or play when the baby napped. I could be my own boss and set my own schedule and agenda. Sounded a lot easier than getting up at 5:00 am to work from 7:00am to 7:00pm at an office. All those plans changed when we heard "triplets." I remember the doctor urging us to consider selective reduction and warning of the difficulties not only of carrying triplets, but of raising triplets. "yea yea, whatever (I thought).... I can do this, no problem."

I never could have imagined how much effort goes into raising triplets nor could I have foreseen how much additional work the addition of one more child could create. Yesterday, (new years day) Jerry got up with the kids and I lay in bed listening to Jerry during their feed. Jadon, once again refusing to eat. Addison screaming crying because she was punished for throwing food on the floor and the dogs barking at some noise from outside. I wondered if I could just pull the covers over my head and disappear... I just didn't have the energy to walk through our bedroom door and out into the chaos of our home. But I prayed for strength.

"And let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. - Galatians 6:9"

Our family is unique in that we have 4 babies, not 4 kids. I don't have a child that can feed himself, dress himself, or use a potty. I don't have a child who can communicate with me beyond a few words and Lord help me if I don't understand the words being spoken. I don't have a child that can go pick up Cody when he is crying, or can give him a bottle. I have 4 babies, that all want to be picked up at the same time, that cry about everything from wanting the pink cup not the green cup to feeling terrible with a fever. I have 4 babies that need cuddle time and all want in Mommies lap at the same time. Toddlers are demanding, needy, whiny, clingy, and yet somehow adorable. I think God knew he had to make babies adorable, otherwise we'd kill them.

I thought staying home would be easy... oh, how I laugh now. The hours of my day are filled from sun up to sun down seven days a week fulfilling the needs of others. Trying to see that the needs of my babies are met and that I am serving my husband as the best possible wife I can be. When I am beaten down and feel like I can't take one more minute listening to crying, I have to step back and remind myself that I had a job, and now I have a purpose. My vocation is important as I am responsible for these four little souls physically, emotionally, and spiritually and when I feel like I just can't go on... God renews my strength with a unexpected kiss on the hand from Kaylee, or a "Good job Buddy" from Jadon, or watching Addison hug Jadon when he is crying. I even find strength in staring into the sleeping face of my little Cody.

"Even youths grow tired and weary... but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. -- Isaiah 40:30-31"

I often think Jerry has it easier because he is out there. He can socialize and get away from the crying demanding little bodies. He gets a break and has variety, but then I have not walked in his shoes. He gets up much earlier than I do, works all day and then comes home to a tired and often stressed out wife who expects him to jumped in the minute he walks in the door. I expect him to be my rock and I have to say he has never let me down.

As for the rest of the day once I found the strength to walk out our bedroom door? Well, it turned out to be a great day. It was our first outing to Chuckie Cheese and we found it to be great age appropriate entertainment. We spent over two hours putting tokens into the various rides and enjoying our children. The work is hard, but the rewards are great.

Blessing to everyone and your families and may you find strength in your daily struggles. And thank you to my Mom to whom I often vent.

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